Faithful meeting
by Supermoi
Summary: When Starscream come to Megatron bad side... And meet a human girl in the process! A transformers Christmas Story. I could continu if you like. Implied slash, you'll be warned... If you don't like, don't read...Chapter 5 is UP! Rating are up, too. Enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer : **I don't own transformers, Hasbro does.

**Note:** It's my first Transformers fic, and I hope I did well whit the character actings and speech. If I made some mistakes, please forgive me and don't thtow anything at me. I'm a French Canadian, and not so fluent in English (not as much as I'd like too…) so if you spot any grammatical or other types of errors, tell me and I will correct it. Thank you for reading.

**Rated:**K+ for a little bit of violence…

**Faithful meeting**

It was a perfect night to fly.

The sky was clear, the wind just a little chilly but strong enough to soothe the tension in his frame as he flew over the vastness of the country below him. And above all, the sky was as deep as space itself. He could see infinity of stars and the full moon in it's every detail, bathing the snowy land in lights tones of silver.

But at the moment, the Seeker doesn't comply with the beauty of the world around him, he was far too infuriated for such a thing to process its way through his CPU. And for a good reason indeed. For the millionth time if none at all, he went into a very hard, very distasteful argument whit his superior and Leader, Megatron. This time, the argument was about how often they had loose battles against the Autobots. Not a singe battle won in almost three month. Beside the fact that it started to gets on everybody nerves around the Nemesis, it gives Starscream some really good arguments to punch into is "beloved" leader face.

Starscream's CPU aches at the mere memory of the earlier argument, on the control room of the nemesis…

**********

_Some times earlier… _

"Everybody on this ship could see how much good your "leadership" is doing us, Megatron! How much battles have we win in three hearth months? NONE!" Snaped the Seeker, obviously very pissed off by the situation.

This time, he could hear some whispers of agreements from the others mechs on the room. But a single glare from Megatron silenced his soldiers, and he soon pin down his glare on his fuming Second-in-Command. He was tired, very tired, of these endless attempts to shatters his leadership by the Seeker, and, at this very moment, he was at the very edge to terminate the mech in an attempt to soothe his recurrent CPU aches once and for all.

"Shut up, Starscream! I'm tired of your endless power trip games! Don't tell me your doing this for the benefit of the Decepticon cause, for we al know that it's only power you want! Nothing else!"

Everybody else in the room was now silent, listening carefully, at their leader words. That was no good for the Second-in-Command, not at all… Maybe Megatron would beat the living slag out of him… again! That could be entertaining.

"If you're not out of my sight this instant, you will soon join the scrap heap! Am I clear, Starscream?"

Then he turn around, letting the seeker piercing optics burning on his back, and was about to leave the room when he sensed the incoming attack. Quickly ducking to avoid being caught by the blast from Starscream Null Ray, Megatron swiftly respond by leaping toward the infuriated jet and grabbed him by the throat. Now, he was really mad… The other mechs in the room looked whit anticipation, knowing very well what was to come next. Whit a low growl and a fiercely glare of his optics; Megatron leaned down a little to be at optics level whit the nom whimpering seeker, tightening his grip on the other throat.

"Shooting another mech in the back, Starscream? How cowardly, even for you… But what else could I hope for a loud and pathetic idiot like you."

"Megatron… please, don't…" Was the whimpering response of the now terrified seeker.

"And why wouldn't I, tell me, Starscram. What reason could you possibly give me to save your miserable life?" Whispered the tyrant, his voice as cold and threatening as a black hole.

He waited a few seconds more but nothing could be heard from the seeker vocalizer. Megatron let a cold smile appears in the corners of his lips components has he talked again.

"Get out of here, traitor. I don't want to see your face nor hear another word out of you, Starscream, ever. Just consider you lucky that I don't terminate you her and now!" He glares at the others mechs in the room, then focus his attention in the two wingmates of his now ex-second-in-command. "Thundercracker, Skywarp, you are to escort him out of here, and made sure he won't come back, understood?"

He let his grip loosens itself and Starscream fell to the floor in a heap. After that point, all was a blurr of anger and hate and he couldn't really remember what he did. But when he come back online, he was damaged and in a place he couldn't recognize. Someplace in a forest, as he could see, but beside that fact, not a clue of where he was. There was no construction at all, no road or a single signal of a human settlement nearby. He transformed and, anger and hatred filling his processor, seared to the sky above.

_**********_

_Present_

"_Damn Megatron! Damn him to the Pit! It's not finished yet, dear leader. You'll soon discover what the cost for crossing me is!" _Thought Starscream as he flew through the beautiful winter night, completely oblivious of his surrounding.

But soon enough, he saw what could be a human settlement. Maybe if he goes closer, he could determine where he was. He landed at a safe distance in a field, looking at the gathering of lights in the distance. He hadn't even take a step when a little voice, coming from his feet, startles him.

"Salut!" (Hi!)

He looked down and sees a girl. A human femme, not a sparkling but not fully grown either. He looked puzzled to see that the girl didn't seem to be afraid of him. Not a bit, in fact. She was smiling at him, apparently completely calm, even a little amused. She spoke to him in a language he couldn't understand, but not English. She spoke again, in her calm tone, in this same human language.

"Qu'est-ce que tu fais ici? Qui t'es?» (What are you doing here? Who are you?)

Still puzzled by the lack of far and, to be honest, a little annoyed by the mere presence of the human female, Starscream glare at her whit his crimson optics, attempting to frightened her and made her leave. But the sole result of that attempt was a serious expression and a glare.

Not a bit of fear in that little human youngling. That, above all, convinces the red and white seeker to avoid squishing her beneath his heel. Besides, he search the Internet for the language she was using and soon discover it was French. Annoyed, startled and puzzled by the attitude of this little squishy, Starscream talk for the firt time. The tone was harsh, as cold as the snow, still attempting to made her leave and let him be.

"What do you want, human?" He snarled.

She raised an eyebrow, then remains silent for a while, looking a little confuse, as if she was searching for the right answer. In fact, she was merely a little rusted in English et searching for her words.

"So you speak English. I didn't know giant robots could speak English." She grinned, and then said. "Hi, my name is Mélanie. You are in St-Michel-des-aints, in Québec. Who are you? You are one of those giants robots the news speak of more often these times, aren't you?"

"And why do you want to know that, puny flesh creature?" He retorted in a growl, not at all amused by the human nuisance.

"Curiosity, that' all. Your kind is quite fascinating, you know? Besides, I'm a sci-fi fan…" She told him in a huge grin. She resumed by asking softly, curious. "So, what's your name? Why are you here in the middle of nowhere?"

Sighing, Starsream shook his head. That girl was worse than those annoying fraggers, Rumble and Frenzy… he remain silent for a long time, and he couldn't heard a sound coming for the girl. Maybe she was gone, but, somehow, he doubted that.

"Still here?" He asked in an annoyed tone, then sighs again. "What the frag do you want whit me, squishy? Shoo, go away and let me alone! I don't need any company."

"It's Christmas Eve. I couldn't let you here all alone, in Christmas Eve. You seemed so angry and lonely, I wanted to show you some concern, that' all. But if you don't want to talk…"

Looking at her, he narrowed his optics and remains silent. He didn't want to hear any of her nonsense. She stay near him for a short while, and then turn back and star walking, signing in French in a cheerful tone. And Starscream remains just where he was, puzzled by that strange girl.

*******

Please reviews. If you like, I could continue this...


	2. Chapter 2: Will you behave, now?

**Disclaimer : **I don't own transformers, Hasbro does.

**Note:** It's my first Transformers fic, and I hope I did well whit the character actings and speech. If I made some mistakes, please forgive me and don't thtow anything at me. I'm a French Canadian, and not so fluent in English (not as much as I'd like too…) so if you spot any grammatical or other types of errors, tell me and I will correct it. Thank you for reading.

**Rated:**K+ for a little bit of violence…

**Faithfu****l meeting**

**Chapter 2: ****Will you behave now?**

After a while, Starscream, pretty sure that the annoying girl was gone for good, made a few steps forwards toward the lights of the small town a short way farther.

_*What's the name of the place, again? That girl mentioned it, I'm pretty sure...*_ He tough, then shrudded in annoyance, _*Bah, whatever, let's see what I can find.*_

He couldn't help but wonder what she has meant by "Christmas Eve". Never since his arrival on hearth had he show any interest in the human culture, and he didn't know a thing about their customs and celebrations. And he couldn't care less about that either. For now, the one and only things who can manage his way in the thick armour of his cranial unit his: How would he do to regain teach Megatron a hard and painful lesson for his latest mistreatment.

After a short examination of the small human settlement, a wicked grin spread across his face. A this moment, a little destruction could be a very welcome way to overcome the rage and anger who threaten to explode every seconds since his awakening a few hours earlier in that forest. And he had a really tempting target right in front of here… A small town, in the middle of nowhere made a perfect target to vent his temper.

But before he could do anything of the sort, a little voice from around his feet startled him again, making him look down in haste.

"I wouldn't do that if I where you, you know…"

That girl again! What a fraggin' annoying pest! He was about to squash the little flesh bag but something in her eyes, or maybe her way to look at him in perfect calm even if his gun was aimed directly to her heart, made him stop. He drop the foot he had left and let out a low and deep growl. Why, in the name of Primus, couldn't he kill a single human Femme!? She was nothing special, little, clear blue eyes, blond airs, pale skin and a red and whit winter coat, whit red and white boots.

As if she had sensed his thought, she had a little amused grin and raised an eyebrow, like if she was challenging him to resume his movement. Clenching his fists, Starscream sighs in defeat. What the slag was wrong whit him, he wonders…?

"And how do you know what I was going to do, fleshling? And, besides, what in the name of Primus do you want whit me?! Couldn't you just let me be?" he replied whit a snarl, optics glowing threateningly at her likes fires from the Pit. "I'm warning you…"

He hadn't time to finish his words because the girl cut him in the middle of his threat. She seams… annoyed, at best. She dimed her eyes and gave him a glare.

"My name is Mélanie, not "Fleshling". Besides, it's Christmas. It's time to show a little concern for others than you. It's a time of peace and joy, not grief and anger. For that one night of the year, couldn't you find in your hearth… or whatever you had has a heart… the will to look around you and see the meaning of Christmas?"

"I couldn't care less, human." He said in a hash tone. "Peace and joy, ha! What a piece of slag! I don't care about your human celebrations, for I have others things, much more important, in my mind right now. So, if you don't mind, I'll just returns to my occupations and your 'Christmas' could go to the pit, for what I care!"

She sighs and shook her head, looking really ashamed and sad. She look up at him and, whit a serious and a little stiff look on her face, replied harshly. She seams really upset by his manners and his words.

"And I couldn't care less about tour little personal vendetta, Starscream!"

She smiled as the surprised look on his face as she said his name. He know He hadn't said it yet. How could she know it, then? For the first time since the beginning of that very strange meeting, he feel a little uncomfortable, even… scared. What in the pit IS that girl?! His she even human, has he tough? After a while of observation, he couldn't help but notice the unusual taint of her air – a strange shade of silvery blond – and the light who, for whatever reason, seams to engulf her frame. And her eyes… Likes windows opens to the vastness of the stars.

"How do you know my name? Who the slags are you?! Answer me, human!"

That's it, he was loosing his patience. He had bowed down to look at her more closely and dimed his optics, two small shining red lines in the darkness of his face. He catches her in his grip and takes her to his optic levels. And then she… smiled? Not afraid at all by him. It was disturbing…

"I am who I am, that's all. You don't have to know that for now, Starscream. But I know everything about you, or anybody else, on this planet, or other planets. Let's just say I'm a little human girl, for now, would we?"

"All right… What do you want?"

He was puzzled and very disturbed, know, and he didn't like one bit. But for a reason he couldn't do anything but listen to the girl. At his own shame, he tried to toss her into the air and squash her, but discover that… he couldn't. At his own surprise, besides, he opens his and let her sit on it.

_*What am I doing?! Why couldn't I squash that fraggin' girl?! I don't like it one bit…*_ He tough as she spoke again.

"Well, Starscream, very Well! You start to understand, that's good! You can't harm me, you can't squash me and you certainly can't kill me. Besides, if you did try, you'll discover that I'm really hard to kill. Now, be a good robot and listen to me. I'm her to teach you a little lesson. Ho, nothing to worry about, but let's that, from now on and until the end of the night, you'll have to change a bit."

"And who do you think you are to think that you can change me? I like the way I am and I don't intend to change in any way! I'm a seeker, Megatron's second in command and the Air Commander of the Decepticon army! All your slag about Christmas and peace and other scrap like that just make me laugh! I'm as bad as they come, little girl, but I assume that you already know that…." He replied in a harsh tone, anger filling his voice as clearly as the snow around 'em. He was not a happy mech right now…

She looks him in the optics and laugh. She laugh at him, her voice as clear and pure as crystal. His fingers twitched, his first reflex to squash the insolent creature, but he couldn't, and let out a loud growl, glaring daggers at her.

"I told you!" She sang playfully. "Are you ready to listen, now? And see what I have to show you? Or do you intend to stay her, in that field, and try to close your fist all night? Because I can tell you, this night will be veeeeery long, because I can made it as long as I want it, if you don't behave and continue in your stubbornness."

She lifts an eyebrow as he continues to struggle to close his fist a couple of minutes, then smile widely when he stops and let out a sigh, apparently understanding that it was futile.

"Good! Now, we could talk!"

"And what exactly will we talk about?" He asked in a flat and annoyed tone. "What do you intend to show me, now?"

"You'll see!"

And after a moment, they where gone, and the fields was as empty and peaceful as if none of the ordeal has ever happens…

***************

Review please!


	3. Chapter 3: Ghosts from the past, part 1

**Disclaimer : **I don't own transformers, Hasbro does. But… *sigh* I wish I could own Starscream…

**Note:** Well, I think it's becoming to take shape, now… Even if it's a Christmas fic, I would continue to update the next chapters until it's done. I think it would be at mid-January, at best. I have three more chapters in mind after this one. So… Enjoy!

**Rated:**K+ for a little bit of violence and Slash things. If you feel I would up the rating, pleas etell me, ok?

**Faithfu****l meeting**

**Chapter ****3: Ghosts from the past, part 1**

_**Creators**_

After an indefinite period of time, during which they'd been travelling in some kind of foggy place where neither time nor space seem to works properly, or even the basics rules of physics, the mist begins to disperse. Starscream, a little uncomfortable and certainly not happy at all by this entire thing, feel relieves when he could sense the solid ground below his feet once again. As soon as he could see what was around him, at first, he was confused. He couldn't recognise the place, even if it seemed very familiar. A little room, whit a berth – sparkling sized – in a corner, a desk and a collection of toys and stuff on the floor and the desk.

"Where are we?" he asked to the little one sitting in his palm.

"Awww, come on, Starscream, don't tell me you cont recognize this place! Try and think for a minute." She replied whit a wicked grin, apparently greatly amused by his confusion.

Growling whit frustration at the puzzling answer, he studied the room more closely. The first ting to capture his attention was a little twisted object carefully resting on the desk, and he bowed down to sees it better. He narrowed his optics, and then opens them wide when he recognized the thing. It was the first invention he had ever managed to build. And it worked, though, even not perfectly… It was a energy converter of sort, to transform any source of power into a consumable form. Simple and easy to work. He takes a step back, startled, as if the little thing had bitten him.

"Impossible…" he murmured for himself, oblivious of the little 'girl' in his hand. "It can't be…"

"Yes it can, and now that you obviously know where – and when – we are, we are to begin your journey. A warning, tough: it will be a painful and difficult trip, and you will hate me for what I have to show you and tell you, but it has to be done. Ready?" The girl said calmly, serious. Her eyes where locked whit Starscream's and after a minute or two, he was the one to brake the intense visual contact.

"I don't think I have any choice in the matter, so be it! The faster we star, the better." His voice was tainted whit an unnatural bit of worries, and his jaw component was stiff whit anticipation.

"Good!" She smiled, and then made a motion whit her right and the time regain his rights, the scene coming to life before their eyes.

From another part of the habitation Unit, loud voices could be heard, and in the little room, a small, tiny form moved in the berth, awaken from recharge by the explosion of sound. The adult Starscream could see the sparkling him coming up, jumping of the berth and peeking trough the door to see what was going on. He stiffens even more as a memory comes to his processor. A bad one. No, it couldn't be THIS night! He didn't want to revive THIS scene another time!

"No… No, not that again! Please, I don't want to see that again!" The adult Starscream says as he followed, almost against his own will, the little him out of the room and toward the loud voices coming from the common room.

"Ha, don't be such a sparkling… and besides, YOU did this to yourself, Starscream! I hadn't been to be here whit you if you didn't needed a reminder of your own self. Now sith still and enjoy the show. After, we could talk."

He shoots her a killing glare but continue to follow his little self nonetheless. The sparkling Starscream arrived to the common room door, and he peeked trough the door to see what was happening. The voices from that room were even louder, now, a fight of epical proportion between a mech and a femme. He knows these voices

Very well, but he couldn't says that they awakens good memories in his processor and spark. His creators weren't the most caring, loving being of Cybertron, not by a long shot… But this… What happens on this terrible night… She didn't deserve such a fate. He looked at the little him, who he could see only an optic peering trough the barely opens door, and murmured, hopefully to be heard, a tense degree of concern and, yes, sadness in his voice.

"Don't stay here, please Come back to your room and forget about this. You don't have to see this…"

"It won't work. They couldn't see or hear you, you know. You are the ghost, here, and only a spectator. Whatever, I don't think he would've listened, didn't he? Curiosity, curiosity… It's an awful thong, don't you agree?" His little guide told him thoughtfully, her voice just a little saddened, as if she feels bad for what she had o do.

At this moment, he could've terminated her without a second tough, but he couldn't has he already knew it, so Starscream decided to simply ignored her and look at the inevitable scene who was plying before his very eyes. Again… He barely managed to enter the room – thought the almost closed door! – And settled in a corner of the common room, shoulders down, optics dimed and faintly brightened. His mother, Shadowmoon was on the floor because of the blow she just received on the midriff. Her red and white frame was curled in a thigh ball to withstand the pain, and she shoots a killing glare to the mech who stands in front of her. Silverblade was, as his name told, mainly silver, whit some traces of red and bleu on his wings. The two of them were Seekers, obviously, has they both had wings and thrusters heels.

"How could you do this to me, you filthy whore!" The mech said, a murderous look on his faceplates has he stares down to his mate. "And whit HIM!"

As he kicked her on the midriff again, causing her to curled even more, Starscream, in his corner stiffen has he heard the muffled whimper of his younger self, you was witnessing all this. He takes a step toward him, lifting a hand, but stopped and let the hand fall to his side has he realised how futile it was. What could he possibly had done, tough? But seeing this all again was… painful for he knew what was coming next. He tightens his fists and steeled himself for the next round. Even if he couldn't do anything, he could always watch it without too much emotion this time.

"Silverblade… You don't understand! You're never here whit us! Do you even know that you're son where sick for an entire cycle?" The femme managed to say as she stand up again, not letting her pain shows on her faceplates. "At least, Darkstar's here for us, unlike you… And I love him, as you likes it or not, you Slagger!"

"How could you…" The mech repeated in a venomous, cold tone, staring at his mate whit what's seems like madness. "He was my best friend."

Slowly, he lifted a hand and let out his forearm cannon. Now frightened, Shadowmoon retreated in a corner of the room, nearby a window.

"You wouldn't do it…" She said, almost provocatively, but the fear was clear under her voice. "You don't have the slaggin' guts to do it…"

"Watch me." He simply said and then… he shoots.

The adult Starscream shut his optics of but he could hear the sound of broken glass, and the scream of his mother vocal processor has she fell trough the window. He could also hear his tiny sparkling voice crying _"Mommy!" _and then a gasp of surprise, horror and disbelief as his father realised what he had just done. He couldn't stand it anymore. He talks between his clenched fangs, his voice low and a little stiffened whit deep sadness.

"I had enough. Get me out of here."

"If you say so…" The little girl said and then the world turn to a foggy space again and they where gone.

_**Interlude: in the mist – part 1**_

Once they where back in the mist, the little pseudo-girl wraped in a red and white coat who was settled in the palm of his and suddenlyrose upe and jump on his shoulder.

"Hey! What are you doing!?"

"I was beginning to get a little uncomfortable on your hand, that's all." She said whit a wide grin, her expression not-to-innocent. "Well, well, well… Now that we are alone, I assume you did have something to say about what we just saw, Starscream, am I right?"

"the only question that I have is why? Why, in Primus name, did you choose to bring back in my face what's probably the worst memory of my spaklinghood?"

He stared at her, sitting in his shoulder, whit a disbelieving expression, and somewhat shaken. It was obviously hard to see again those moments. She shuddered whit a non-committal expression. She wasn't here to judge, but to be a guide to the ultimate understanding. But the journey will have to be long and hard to endure.

"I'm not here to judge, only to guide you through your journey. You may hate me for that – and I pretty sure you will before the end of the night – but I'm only doing it for your one sake. AND" She added before he could say anything "I'm not the one responsible for this little trip."

"Then who's responsible? Who behind this, who wants' me to suffer that way, bringing back to me my worst memories? Answer me, little one!" He asked, tightening his fists, his voice a little broken, shaky.

He was more affected by all this than he would admit, even to himself. He couldn't imagine what will be coming next but something tell him that he wouldn't ike this one bit…

"I'm not permitted to tell you this, but I will say that someone cared about you enough towants to save you."

"save me? From what?"

"Yourself." Was the strait, short answer.

"Okay… Assuming that I actually believe you… What's the point in showing me old memories? And bad ones, tough." He replied, not-to-convinced.

"After your mother death, you were greatly disturbed. Wath happens to you, in your spark and soul, to made you change? As traumatic as such ordeal could be, you could've slip through it relatively unaffected. So, what happens?"

By her tone, he knew that she must already know the answer, but for some reason, she wanted him to say it. To verbalise those feelings and all the grief he must have had after this horrible night. At first, he remains silent, but she just stay on his shoulder, smiling softly, waiting, and eventually, he snapped.

"Alright, I'll tell you what happens, you little pest! After my mother… death, I was taken from my home, my family and the only peoples I knew, and then I was thrown in a sparkling raising facility. An orphanage, as the humans says. Losing both my parents in one night, one because she was dead and the other because he was thrown to jail for her murder, left a hole in my spark. A big, gaping hole full of suffering and grief." As he talk, his voice hardened, beginning to rise, and he shortly begins to yell. Hatred and sadness was clear as crystal in his tone. "He hated him for taking her away from me! He wanted him dead, so I would've been healed in a way, but I knew, in a naïve sparkling way, that it would've been only a temporary healing, a lie. Even now, if I could, I would found him and make him pay for what he does to me… to us! My father was a selfish jerk who couldn't stand to lose his mate, and choose to terminate her instead! What a cowardly act… I could never forgive him for that, do you understand? Never!"

After that, he remains silent, his intakes working hard to cool him down, his vents letting out long, sharp breaths, his optics brighter than ever, red as the Pits itself. The little one on his shoulder remains silent for a while, too, but eventually, she talked again, whit a gentle smile. She seems to understand quite well, in fact, but apparently, she wasn't going to argue with him about what he just said.

"I think we are going somewhere, finally. As I said, I'm not here to judge you, it's not my place to do so, but tell me something: what do you think would've happens if your mother were still alive, and your family intact? Would you still be who you are now, the mech you have become, whit their influence? Think about it, as we continue our journey through your memories."

_**Lover**_

Again, it was an indefinite period of shifting in the fog, and then, the floor could be sensed below Starscream feet. He blink his optics a couple of time, trying to determine where – and presumably so when – he was this time. His surrounding was composes by what seems to be a office of some sort. A desk, whit two chairs on each side, a bookcase against one wall, filling whit data pads, and a large window on the far side of the room, just behind the large desk. And even before he saw the two forms sittings in the chairs, he recognizes the place. It was his old boss office, back at the Science Academy, way before the war even started. And something told him what exactly he was going to see, this time…

"Are we really forced to come through this…? I mean, I don't think it's really necessary…" His voice was just a bit louder than a faint murmur and it were also filled whit apprehension, and a bit of… hope, maybe.

"I'm afraid so." Was the quiet reply. "Now be quiet and look."

And again, the scène came to life before his eyes. He could herd Road rain, his former mentor and employer from the Academy, talk to his younger self whit a warm, gentle tone. He was always so calm, so gentle, always a kind word for everybody, Starscream remembered, many memories coming back to him has he watched.

"I'm glad to add you to our field research department, Starscream. You have proved yourself many times, and I'm confident in your capabilities for this new position."

"Thank you, sir. I'm honoured, for you know it wasn't the first time I filled a request to be transferred to this sector of the research facility. Besides my recent accomplishments, what made you change your mind, if I may ask?" The younger Starscream asked, curious.

"I must admit, Starscream, that your most recent research, and their result, weighted a good part in this decision, but I must says that it's another reason for my agreement to your latest request." Replied the old mech, calmly, whit a stern smile. "Someone else was greatly impressed by your work and his own request did pull a good weight whit the approval of your new post. He his one of our best field researcher, her, at the Science Academy. You must know him, for your are greatly interested in this field of study."

"Really?" Asked the younger Starscream, not just a little surprised by this statement. "And why Skyfire could have me in such a high esteem, I wonder. He,s quite an impressive field researcher himself, as I was told many times. But nonetheless, I'm honoured, and a little surprised, by this new developpement. May I ask what he told you, exactly?"

At this moment, someone knocked at the door three times, before opening it. And, as Starscream feel his spark clenches painfully in his chest compartment, a tall, white and red frame, come in and walk in the office, passing so close to him that he could have touch him if he had lifted his arm. But he couldn't. He was frozen solid, incapable of movement or speaking, as if he was knocked dumb on the spot. Skyfire… His one and only real friend, his so beloved lover, his long lost soulmate… The mere sigh of him made him almost drop on his knees as memories of lost times, better times, filled his processor. He could feel a tiny hand on his cheekplate, and look at his little guide. At his own amazement, he musters the faintest smile he could at her tiny concerned face, looking up at him.

"There's no need to be so turned on, Stasscream. Our journey is not over yet." She said whit this all-calm voice of her. "Just a little more, and ye're gone."

"Don't you understand how much it hurts, little one? The mere sight of him… I don't know if I could manage…" Was the painful, sorrow-filled answer, so low that it was barely audible.

"But you must." She replied, this time harder, almost harsh. "Come now, we must continue this."

In front of them, the tall, white shuttle, stop in front of the desk, next to the chair where the red and white seeker was seated.

"Ha, Skyfire! Always punctual, as I see." Said Roadrain as he greeted the newcomer. "I assume you know your new partner, already?"

"Of course." Was the calm, a bit amused, answered from the huge mech. "Starscream, is it? I know almost everything it is to know about you and your previous research here. As you may have guessed from now on, I requested you to be my new partner."

The younger Starscream jump from his seat and stand in front of the shuttle 'bot. A huge smile had appeared on his faceplates as he talked.

"It's an honour to be part of your team, Skyfire! I've heard much good about you too, you know."

After that, the scene started to fade away in the fog again, but Starscream's optics never quit Skyfire's form. He didn't even notice the energon tears that were rolling down his cheekplates. This time, no words were exchanged between the seeker and his little guide, but he could sense her sympathy, her concern. This time, the trip was shorter. The next scene took place in a huge theatre, filled whit many mechs and femmes, and he recognized one of the theatres of the Academy, where the greatest ceremonies took place. On the podium, a speaker was talking. As soon as he could hear, he catches the last part of the speech.

"…And I'm greatly honoured to give this year Science Award to the best field science team our Academy have had in centuries! Thanks to them, in the least two year, we have explored and analyzed no less than a hundred new planets and moon who added a large collection of new data and a handsome lot of new discoveries to our databanks! Please, Ladies and Gentlemechs, greet them as the deserved, they certainly worth it! Starscream and Skyfire! Please, Gentlemechs, come closer, for we could see you!"

And he could see him and Skyfire come up on the scene, in front of a heated crowd of scientists and other members of the Academy, in what was certainly the most perfect day of his life before the war. A smile came across his faceplates once again, but a true one, full of pride and joy, this time. Well, at least, this time, it brings good memories in his processor as a lot of things from his time working whit the big whit mech return to his CPU. After a short while, the short scene faded away and the fog surrounded them again.

"I must thank you for that. This was one of the better memories I have from my time before the war." Simple words of gratitude, said whit a much more calmly, almost at peace, tone.

"You don't have to thank me. The good is as important as the bad in that kind of journey, Starscream. It's part of who you really are. You have just forgotten that, that's all. I'm here to remind you of your true self. And this is part of it." The little one replied in a state-of-fact tone.

"Whatever, thanks anyway. I… needed that, I think. So… what's next?"

He gave a curious, as if a little anxious look, waiting for the next phase. She didn't replied, be gave him a amused smirk, and what could be told as a wicked stare. In a way, it made the proud and strong Air Commander shiver in his thrusters… A moment later, the fog cleared again, to reveal a scene much more… explosive, to say so. Starscream stormed in the room like a tornado, and his older self, who was standing in a corner of the lab – because this room was obviously a lab, his and skyfire's old one in fact – whit his little 'human girl' guide, watched him come directly to the huge, tall, and for the moment seated in front of a large counter, partner in science. For it was imposible to concentrate whit an infuriated and annoyed seeker storming loudly around him, the shuttle mech stands up and look calmly the red and white jet. From his corner, Starscream felt his processor cringed in anticipation. He remembered very well this and it was going to be disturbing and unbearably painful for him to watch…

"SKYFIRE!! We need to talk!" Yell the younger seeker in the face of his friend.

"Well, good morning to you too, Starscream." Replied the always calm and level-headed mech and then he added whit a bit of annoyance. "I'm busy right now as you could see. Couldn't it wait?"

"No, it couldn't, Skyfire! You're avoiding me for far too long, now, and I want to know why!" The fuming seeker retorted coldly, obviously, but his anger hiding a great deal of hurt, what somehow managed to show through his voice.

"Starscream, calm down! What in Primus name are you talking about?" Skyfire replied, placing a calming hand in his partner shoulder, and then sighed, shutting his optics off. "I'm not avoiding you, it's just… It's complicated and not really important, you know…"

He sounds awfully confused, and he was hiding the truth. The seeker wasn't blind, and it was odd to see his always reflective, patient partner, seeming to shrink in front of him. The other starscream had a sad chuckle at that sight, when other remembrances come to him. The younger Starscream, at this sight, seems to finally calm down a bit, but his arms were still folded in front of him and he was standing a little stiff whit anger, optics dimed, flaring red. He let out an annoyed growl, and then replied, more concerned, and a little hurt indeed.

"No, 'fire, I think it's important. We're a team. If we're not able to work together, then we must part and go ahead whit our lives, don't you think?" A pause, and a sigh, before added. "Why do you think it's complicated? It don't have to be unless you made it difficult. It's the simplest thing of all, and you just have to let it out of your processor, old buddy. You know I'm here to listen if you have something to say. Come on, 'Fire, what's bothering you?"

The bigger mech didn't speak for quite some times, leaning down above the counter, his hand flat on the top of the counter. Suddenly, he turned around, startling the red and white jet, who takes a few steps back, an unreadable expression on his normally gentle and calm faceplates. And then, at the mech complete puzzlement, he came closer, almost rubbing their body together, and leaned down to be at his eyes level. Gently, he takes his chin between his thumb and forefinger and made him look him in the eyes, as the tension build up in the room, almost tangible now. At Starscream surprise, amazement and a bit of relief, he kissed him softly, gently, pressing theirs lips together in a marvellous embrace, but before the seeker could react, he broke the kiss and came up again, taking a step backward, and then smiled gently at him, seeming a little shy, not to sure of the effect of his action.

From his corner, the older Starscream had a little sad smile. _There it is… The very moment when a simple friendship became an official love story…_ he thought, a lone tear rolling from the corner of an optic down his right cheekplate. It hurts so much to see all this again, knowing all to well what he lost so many millennia ago. After a moment, he returned his attention to the scene playing in front of him.

"I was avoiding you because I needed some time to think without interference, to clear my processor and analyzes my options. You know me, always the scientist, even in this matter… Anyway, I wouldn't be able to do that whit you around, and I'm really sorry if I hurt you in the process. I didn't mean to, honest. Now, I think that its all clearer for me for quitting staling and it's why I made a move on you." A pause, tense, and then. "I love you, Starscream. Here, I said it! I think I loved you since the first time I saw you in Roadrain office this day a couple of Vorns ago, but I wasn't sure about what you were feeling and I didn't want to jeopardize our friendship and our work, so I kept to myself. Now, if you're mad at me, it's ok, I'll manage…"

It sounded a lot like a confession and an apology at the same times, and the young seeker remains silent, lost in his thought apparently, for a very long time, in awe. After that, however, a huge grin appeared in his face and his optics brightened whit what appeared like a joyful relief. He said whit a joyful and somewhat relieved tone.

"Well… I wondered how long it'll take you to admit that, 'Fire. Don't look so surprised! I'm not an idiot, and I have some experiences in that matter, you know. I saw the signs for quite some time now but I waited for you to made the first move, unsure about my own interpretation of what transpired from your actions. All those Vorns of waiting and finally," He said, sounding seductive, almost sensual, and leaning close enough to put his arms around the taller mech neck, a twisted, somewhat inviting smirk on his faceplates. "I think it paid off to be patient… I love you too, 'Fire."

They were locking in another kiss, deeper and most passionate. Starscream, from his corner of the room, fell a painfully sharp dagger stab his spark at this sight and turn his optics off, unable to look any longer. He didn't have to say anything before the scene faded into nothingness in a matter of second, coming back from the realms of lost memories where it came from.

"Well… I suppose it was unavoidable…" He stated flatly, hurt and painful sadness heavy in his voice, who were cracking whit static, as if he was holding a sob. "I just hope you don't have more of those painfully torturous scenes in store for I don't know how much more I could stand…"

"Brace yourself, then, for the worst part of your journey is yet to come. You must see all of this, for your own sake, and the sake of your spark, Starscream. Tell me, what happens after that moment, before we reach our next destination?" His guide asked him whit a serious, intense glare. And Starscream almost flinch, fearing more than ever what was to come next.

"What happen were the most beautiful moments of my life." Was the sad answer, said in an almost extinguished voice. "And, at that time, even the rumours of troubles and war, which were growing stronger and more pressing whit each orns, didn't matters to us, as long as we had each others. We were soul mates, made to one another, and we thought we were unbreakable, invincible. It was pure joy and happiness, almost like leaving in a dream. But we were fools, and all good things must comes to an end, as the human says, and I was about to learned this the hardest way possible." He added, grief and sorrow filling his vocal processor. He sounded almost broken.

"have you ever wondered what would've happens if thing have been different? If Skyfire had stayed whit you, would've you made different choices, taken a different road? I'll let you process it for we now come to our next stop. But, be warned, Starscream, it will be the hardest part of your journey."

The cold, hollow feeling growing in his spark was nothing to comfort him has he started to see were it was bringing them. Ho, what I would've give to be elsewhere, anywhere but here… He thought painfully, as his little guide said nothing more has their journey continue.

Please review, it helps me improve! And don't throw me flames, I don't like being burn…


	4. Chapter 4: Ghosts from the past part 2

**Disclaimer : **I don't own transformers, Hasbro does. But… *sigh* I wish I could own Starscream…

**Note:** Well, this chapter will be lots more intense than the others three. It will involve a lot of angst and violence, and for that reason, I will change the rating and warn those who had follow me since the beginning, because I'm fair and I don't want to be buried in a ton of flames. There, You're warned, now, and if you don't like it, don't read it, plain and simple. Next chapter: TC, 'Warp and Megatron!

**Rated:** T (Yes, I decided to higher the rating because this story is turning a lots more intense and angsty as I fist had planed.)

**Faithfu****l meeting**

**Chapter 4: Ghosts from the past, part 2**

_**Interlude: In the mist part 2__**_

Starscraem, now and since the last of the scene that is little guide had show him, was more than a little anxious. He was terrified. Terrified by what was to come now, for he could made a fair guess in the matter, referring to what she has told him after they re-entered that misty dimension. _Be warned, for the worst part of your journey as yet to come,_ She has told him. And now, he was in a hurricane of wild emotions, and trying to keep them in check. But it was harder by the minutes, has tio come closer to their next stop. Sadness, anger and regrets were no doubts the more intense of the feelings he was experiencing right now, whit a fair part of self-loating lines by a bit of hope and joy. In a world, Starscream, right now, was very confused and in a great emotional pain. But he was starting to see how it was going. All this insanity about changing him and the way he is. He had to admit, besides being a big pain in the aft for almost everybody, in his camp or the enemy; he has hid himself behind a lots of masks. He has build layer after layer of armours around his feelings, until he can't even _feel_ anything else than a twisted Unger for power and a overgrown sense of superiority over everyone and everything. In a way, it was a pity, for once, a long time ago; he was a very different person. Maybe, if what he has deduced is right, this all experience was only to made him retrieve his true self, lost somewhere in the past, before the war even had begun.

He was cut in his tough by the voice of his little guide, that 'human girl' who has drag him here to show him these things and apparently teach him something about himself. He turns his gaze on her, his optics dimed whit a painful anticipation. He didn't want to see what she has in store for him in the next few hours but he didn't have any choice in the matter either, did he?... Nonetheless, he listen to her much more carefully than ever before since the beginning of this journey.

"Here we are, Starscream. Now I think you must prepare yourself to see something you really don't want to see. It takes place three vorns after the last scene I showed you. I let you made the right connection, after all, it's your memories."

"Don't test me, little one! My patience has a limit, and you're close enough to cross its border!" He snapped without really thinking. He sighs, then, and shut of his optics for a moment. "You succeed in making me really jumpy, little one. It's not really a challenge, I must admit, but I'm not accustomed to be order around, you know, and definitely not to be forced to do something I don't want to do. All this… situation… It's totally crazy."

Her only answer to this little temper fit was a peaceful smile and a calm gaze, and it has the surprising effect to return the angry and jumpy Air Commander to a better mood. Surprisingly, he even musters a tired and really sad smile before answering back.

"Ok, I surrender, you win this one, little one. Anyway, I don't think throwing a tantrum will send me anywhere, huh?" A pause and then, whit a edgy and anxious tone. "We must continue if we are to complete that journey sometime soon, and the sooner the better…"

"Agreed."

_**The loss**_

Another indefinite period of time and then another scene begins to come to life around them. This time, they were in space, just above a little white, blue and green planet. An organic world like many others in the galaxy, the type able to sustain life, worthy of studying. At that sight, Starscream tensed greatly. He recognized that place, no doubt. He could never forget that Pit-Spawned reject of a planet, never in a hundred of thousand vorns. This was the planet were his life had turn upside down, and were he had lost everything. Before them, just at the edge of the atmosphere, two forms could be seen, one red white and very sleek, the other bigger, mostly white whit red stripes on the wings. They were about to enter this planet atmosphere, but for now, the scene was frozen. But not for long, for as soon as they were fully "materialized", the waiting scene was bring to life.

"Hey, 'Fire, I need to go lower to take a couple pf samples of the lower atmosphere." They could hear the younger Starscream said before he dive down strait to the little world below. "Stay close to me. I wouldn't want to lose you down there, you know. But, thinking of that, you're so huge that I don't think I could lose you even if a try!"

The wicked grin was clear in the jet voice as he teased his lover whit this little joke. The white shuttle seems to laugh, a shiver coming through his frame, and he followed the seeker down the planet surface. He answered in a false hurt tone, almost dramatically offended, in a amused show-off.

"How could you say that, Screamer! I though you love me, you insulting little brat!"

"Don't call me that!" Was the equally amused reply, has they came closer to the ground. "I don't call you fatsy, don't I? Show a little respect, dear colleague!"

The taunting and teasing between the two mechs continue as they proceeds whit the sampling. It takes a few hours, and apparently, for them, it was absolutely normal to exchange insults and teasing like that. It was only for fun, after all, for they loved each other so much that even the ugliest insult sounds like a love word.

From his vantage point, Starscream look at this whit a growing horror, a fear so deep to what was to come that it hurts physically, like white hot spikes slowly piercing his spark and processor. He distractly noticed the energon tears coming down his cheekplates as he watched the inevitable fate coming at light speed strait in his face. Again… And again, he could do nothing to stop that, to stop himself for doing an unforgettable mistake. A mistake who would broke him and send him through a self-made Pit. But he soon noticed that, as hard as he tried to, he couldn't bring himself to detach his sigh from the scene playing in front of him. And he knew his little guide had something to do whit that, or the one who had send him through this inner journey, whoever this entity could be. They want him to watch, and not lost a single moment of this spark breaking show. Now, his younger self was tounting Skyfire for doing a little speed race whit him, before landing to collect minerals and earth samples.

"Come on, 'Fire! It's nothing, just a little race! What, are you afraid hat I could beat you?"

"I'm not built for racing, Starscream, and you know that. Even if I do race whit you, you would beat me without even breaking a slag out of it. And besides, we have work to do, and not much time to have it done, if I may say."

Even if he was in his alt-mode, he manages to "roll his optics" in the direction to his younger lover. His partner only sighs and laugh, apparently oblivious of they're obligations for now.

"Aww, 'Fire, you're such a pain in the afterburners… if you don't want to race, I'll show you my incredible flying abilities!"

And whit that, he begins a series of neck breakings loops and dive stunts that would have send anybody else's CPU in a horrid whirl. Starscream look at his younger self whit anger, and a murderous look, only tainted by his spark-wrenching fear because he knew all too well what was to come for now on. Has expected, Skyfire, whit a warning shout, tried to follow his partner down his crazy flying, but he soon begins to have a hard time doing so. After a while, his engines begin to revved and clicked wildly, overheating because of that harsh and unusual treatment. Ha shouts, a hinch of panic in his normally calm and gentle voice.

"Starscream! Stop it, I can't follow you! I told you I'm not built for sped! STARSCREAM!" He yelled and, just a second latter, something made a disturbing snapping sound into his chassis, and he let out a pained and panicked cry. "STARSCREAM!" He yelled again, trying to get the attention of his lover, but the jet was already on his side, apparently really concerned and a little panicked to by Skyfire's voice. "I'm loosing power, and altitude! I can't maintain my actual trajectory! Help me, I think… I'm gonna crash!"

"NO! I won't let you! Stay clam! Can you divert power from your secondary core?" Was the immediate reply, an edge of panic lining the words, but surprisingly calm giving the circumstances. "Come on, 'Fire, help me on that!"

"I…" Was the weak and almost frenzied reply from the white shuttle."I'll try…" A pause, and another loud popping and cracking came from the huge frame beside the red and white jet. A yelp of surprise and pain came then and the white mech started to lose altitude at a faster rate. "STARSCREAM! HELP ME! I… I just lose the secondary power core! And my main fuel line is ruptured! I… I'M GONNA DIE! HELP ME!"

From above, the older Starscream was clenching his fists painfully, hutting down his optics and clenching his teeth, so tense that he seems to fumes from his joints from the stress he put his circuits in. All he could do was watch as the fruitless attempts of his younger self to help his lover, until it was obvious that nothing could be done. The worst was to hear the panicked and pained voice of Skyfire as his systems shut down one after another. Now, in a minute, he would disappear beneath the ice of the south region of this world and be buried alive. He heard the last words who was exchanged in a haze of horrible sadness, anger, pain and disgust of himself.

"Star… Starscream… Don't blame yourself… It's not you're fault… I love you, my Star…"

"'Fire, please stay whit me! I don't know what I would do without you! I… I'll be lost… I love you so much…" The tone was spark wrenching, pleading and painfully guilty.

Whit a last pained cracking, the white shuttle finally made a hard contact whit the lice below and let out a scream of pain, before disappearing below the whit and bleu substance.

"SKYFIRE! NO! SKYYYYFIIIIIRE!"

The high pitch scream was almost too much for Strscream, for it was so tainted whit pain and remorse and fear and guilt that it broke his already pained spark in a thousand pieces. For hours after that, the red jet tried to free his lover from his ice prison, his cold tomb, but for no avail. After the third day, he couldn't sty any longer and as to go back to seek help for his friend, his lover. And whit that, the two watcher were gone too, back to that misty dimension between time and space. And for a long time, no words were told, only the silence remains. A painful and tainted silence, for the seeker was lost in his own past, whit pain and remorse, and guilt and self-disgust for his own stupid and ruthless actions who had cause the loss of the only one he ever loves, and cared for.

_**Interlude: In the mist part 3**_

For the longest time, nothing was said. It was a deep, tense silence, who could almost be tasted, touched, smelled, and then, as if it was for a undetectable signal, the little 'girl' turned her gaze upon the seeker and talked. Her voice was calm, soft and sound like an island of stability for the stormy, frenzied CPU of Starscream. He was hurting all over, not only in his processor, but also physically, all his frame tense, his joints trembling whit the stress of the intense feelings who crossed his entire being at this time, his spark chamber on fire as if a sharp, hot blade had pierced it. His optics locked whit those of the young one and he cling to it, seeking stability, peace, for the sake of his own tortures spark.

"The loss of a loved one is something everybody had to go through at a time." She started gently, yet coldly. "You loved this one more than anything else, and when he died, it was like loosing a part of yourself, as if something in you died whit him. The pain must be unbearable, but yet, it's only healthy, and normal, to mourn. But you…"

Her gaze turn so intense that it was like if she could see strait through his CPU, is true spark, and analyzed it to the very core. Starscream felt a shiver run down his spine under that gaze, but said nothing. He didn't have the strength to speak yet. She continues, undisturbed by his pleading gaze, full of pain and disturbing guilt.

"You never stop mourning, and your pain and guilt, your self-disgust and your anger over yourself for that loss turned to something much more disturbing. I just want you to answer that question: what happened? Why did you do that to yourself, even trying to terminate yourself to ease the pain you were experiencing?"

For what seems like an eternity, the red seeker didn't answer. How dare she question him like that! How dare she put him through that nightmare and expect him to speak of it like if it was nothing important?! HOW DARE SHE?!? His fingers twitched, and he tried to squish her under his superior strength, but of course, to no avail. He was blinded by anger, a white hot anger who threatens to overcome him, burn him to his very core, and he lost it. He let his anger, his fear, his guilt and his ho so deep sadness overcome him, take control of him and his actions, and then he spoke. Or else, he snarled, hissing like a snake, distilling grief like a poison, in the lowest of the voice, barely audible, what was far most disturbing than yelling.

"How dare you question me… my past… my actions… How dare you speak of him like you know him better than me…? HOW DARE YOU!" He yelled the last words in her face, booming voice raising an amount of decibels almost deafening. "You… Who are you to throw through that nightmare and expect me to comply quietly!? I AM NOT A PUPPET FOR YOU TO PLAY WHIT AT YOUR CONTEMPT!"

She didn't answer, and let him throw his anger at her quietly, not even flinching when he yelled in her little face at the more threatening ant terrifying way. He continue this way for many more breems, but at a time, he had to stop, panting, depleted of his energy, his anger decreasing to a bearable amount. And she just stay seated in his palm, completely unresponsive before his demonstration of violence. This, more than anything else, had the power to calm him down, made him recover his processor correctly. For a couple of breems, he stays still, letting hot air escape his overheating body through his shoulder vents. And then, he started to think and not just react, seeing what she really meant by her words. She wanted him to see thought the wild, raw feelings, and right at the real meaning of what had transpired. He sighs and shut of his optics, before speaking again much more peacefully. The anger, the pain, the guilt were still there, but under control.

"I lost it completely, and I must apologize for that. Now, I'm ready for a little chat, little one." She shrugged and smiled gently, nothing else, and then he spoke again, slowly, as if lost in his thoughts. "Ok, let's just say that, after Skyfire… demise, I wasn't at the best of my behaviour. Ho, I tried to convinced the council of the Academy to send a research and rescue party to that planet to try to find him, but at that time, the rumours of troubles and war had became really pressing. Everybody had better things to do than go for a rescue expedition to help a single mech when the war was right at the door, whit Cybertron threaten by that newcomer, Megatron, and his growing army of followers. Anyway, I took it real bad and, honestly, I didn't remember many things from that period. Only flashes and bits is all. What I know is that I was throw out of the Academy for my behaviour, and then I end up in the streets, whit nothing at all besides my pain and remorse's, and a broken spark. I lived from scratches and bits for an indefinite amount of time, and an also indefinite amount of high grades when I can lay a hand on it. I'm not proud at all of what happened at that time, little one, not at all… And I prefer to avoid the topic completely. I never talk of that part of my life, It's buried deeply under my spark, and it's why I reacted so violently when you throw it strait in my face."

Well, it was quit a speech, and Starscream, after that, felt relieved, in a way, for sharing this whit someone else. Even if nothing could ever ease his pain, his deep guilt, regarding the death of his first bondmate, it had the great way to lessen them to a bearable amount, almost warming in a strange way. She patted his cheekplate whit a tiny hand, showing a surprising amount of concern in her sky blue eyes, before speaking again.

"As I said, loosing a loved one his natural process in one's life, and you're not exception to that rule, Starscream. But for now on, even if the next phase will be a little less demanding emotionally, it will lead us to the way you 'healed' yourself after that terrible period of your life, and why and how you became the mech you are now. After that… Well, let's just say that we'll take that road when cross it."

"Yeah, right… After that, it leads us at the time I met my wingmates. At forst, they were only a mean to an end, meaning my own recovery from 'Fire death, but at times…" He shrugged, not wanting to go through that just now and then. But anyway, she must know exactly what happens and he didn't really had to speak it up. Not now, tough.

"You became much more. It was before you joined Megatron's forces, has a elite seeker, along whit your trine. Let's go on, then, for the next, and last, part of your journey."

Review please! I love reviews…


	5. Chapter 5: End of the journey

**Disclaimer : **I don't own transformers, Hasbro does. But… *sigh* I wish I could own Starscream…

**Note:** Sorry for the wait! I had a writer block for that story… But now that I had read some very interesting Starscream stories, I have some new ideas to make that little story continue on! Let's just say that, at the beginning though, that chapter will be angsty and very sad, but don't worry! Little Screamer will found a happiness in all that mess! I can't let my favourite seeker I despair for too long… Last chapter before the epilogue. SLASH WARNING!!!

Now, on whit the story!

**Rated:** T (Yes, I decided to higher the rating because this story is turning a lots more intense and angsty as I fist had planed.)

**Faithfu****l meeting**

**Chapter 5: ****Fall of an angel**

_The fall_

For weeks, Starscream searched the ice for his fallen comrades. His older self watched the frantic actions of the younger Starscream whit a painful stabbing throb in the deep of his Spark casing. He knew quite well that it was all in vain, for Skyire was buried far too deep for him to rescue him all alone. He needed help, and finally, after almost two months of vain attempts to find and rescue his lost lover, he returned to Cybertron and go to the Academy, with the hope to convince the authorities in place to organize a rescue party and return to that planet and retrieve Sky fire from his icy prison. It was truly a spark wrenching experience because Starscream knew quite well that, because of the incoming war and the loss of resource that was already taking place on Cybertron at that time, it would only end with a firm refusal. The scene before his eyes had changed, and he could see himself in front of a desk, yelling at his former boss Roadrain. He offline his optics for a minute, knowing that it was the very moments were all his hopes of ever rescuing Skyfire had been crushed.

"HOW COULD YOU SAY SUCH A THING?! SKYFIRE COULD STILL BE SAVED' IF YOU LET ME LEAD A RESCUE PARTY TO THIS PLANET AND SEARCHED FOR HIM! I CON FIND HIM!"

"Calm down, Starscream! I already told you that , for the moment, we don't have the resource to spare to launch a rescue mission! They're a war coming on outside, in case you hadn't noticed! I have to answer to my own superiors in this Academy, and they had been perfectly clear: we can't jeopardize any length of resource at that moment."

The little groundling had a deep sight and closed his optics for a moment, and then looked up to his rebellious and fuming employee. Starscream was a strong asset for the Science Academy, and he knew it, but he feared that, after that disaster, he will be lost to them. The older Starscream, standing invisible in a corner of the room, knew what was going on in his former employer CPU, and he was a little sorry for him. Roadrain would have let him borrow the necessary resource ofr a rescue mission, if it would have been his own decision, but it wasn't and he could only mourn for the loss of not only one great researchers and explorers, but two. He was pretty sure that Starscream, after that fiasco, would quit the Academy for good.

"Look, Starscream, I'm sorry for your loss, I really am, but it's nothing I con do to make the directors change their mind on that matter. Had it been my decision, I would have spared you the necessary means to a rescue mission but… It's not in my power. Take a couple of weeks off, kid, you need it."

After a moment, the younger Starscream looked up at his boss and locked his optics whit him. There was a tremendous amount of hurt and sorrow, and an unlimited rage and guilt, boiling in them, and the older mech in the chair looked worried at that sight.

"You want me to… take a vacation?! Ha, what a joke! I don't need a vacation; I need to return to that accursed planet and searched for Skyfire, that's what I need!"

The older Starscrem cringed a little at the tone of his younger self, and he felt a tiny and on his cheek. When he looked at the little human girl – or whatever she was – perched on his shoulder, he could see her concern. It was cold and not really much, but anyway, it was something, and he spares her a sad smile. He returned his optics o the scene before him, and saw himself standing tense and trembling in rage and hut in front of the unforgiving desk, optics locked whit the floor before his feet's.

"I don't think I'll return after those… vacation… Roadrain. I don't care if the planet itself was about to self destruct because of that damn war! All I wanted is my lo…" He stopped in the middle of his word. Nobody knew that he and Skyfire were lovers… "All I want his Skyfire safely back here whit me, as my partner. And if I can't have that… well, I don't see why I would stay here whit a bunch of hypocrite which thought more about they're precious resources than the life of a fellow scientist."

After that, he turned his back to his former employer and walked out of the office, to never, ever return. He never stopped when Roadrain called after him and never had a look back as he exited the building and went on the streets of Iacon. After that, Starscream recalled taking a trip back to Kaon, and then… Well… From this point his memories were at best hazy, fragmented, and he knew very well that he had spent his last credits trying to drown himself into a blessed drunken oblivion. Lurking in the streets of the dark and harsh city of Kaon, and apparently trying his best to had himself killed in some bar or street fights, n which he found himself drag on in a regular basis.

_Interlude four: In the mist_

The scene faded and Starscream and his little guide were back in that misty dimension were they come between those little entertaining scenes. At that moment, Starscream felt terribly weary and didn't want to speak at all. He only wanted to be back in his cosy berth in his quarters of the Nemesis, and found that the entire ordeal had only been a bad dream, some glitch in his recharge program. That would have been a real treat. Fat chance… After onlining his optics again after a moment, he found that he was still in that weird dimension, in the company of that weird girl, and his rage boiled again inside his circuits. He was fed up to be play whit like some toy a God found amusing to torment. In a ft of rage, he grabbed the little human girl calmly sat on his shoulder, between his head and shoulder vent, and squeezes her as he brought her at eyes level.

"I'm fed up whit your stupid games! Now you can send me back home or suffer the consequences of your refusal, fleshbag!" He threatened menacingly, squeezing her just a little more… Only to grab on htin air a minute latter!

Starscream gasped stupidly at his now empty hand, were a human fleshling had been trapped not a second ago. Said human was now standing on the top of his head and, when he made an attempt to grab her again, she only poped out again and reappeared at his feet. Now, Starscream was enraged and he growled like a beast before launching at her… to end up flat on his front, hearing a little laugher in his audio receptors. That little hide-and-go-seek game lasted for a couple of minutes more, until the girl, whit a graceful gesture, froze the raging seeker on his track.

"Have you listened a single word I told you, Starscream? You can't hurt me or kill me. I thought I was crystal clear when I said that… You're a stubborn pain in the ass, you know that? Now, do yourself a favour and stop acting like a sparkling. You'll only humiliate yourself more."

"Fine." Growled the trapped mech before the girl released him. He fell on his aft whit a loud thud. "What now?" he asked coldly.

"Now, we can come back to our little journey, Starscream. You know, I'm beginning to wonder if you're worth all the trouble…"

_A little light_

The scene before his eyes at that moments changes again, after seeing himself exiting the Science Academy of Iacon to never come back again, and he saw a dark alley, surrounded by dark buildings. That must be a part of Kaon underground. He recalled that city and there was one of its most dangerous corners. A couple of meters away was a door, illuminated by a single light and a little panel announced that it was some wretched bar, one of those were he had spent a large amount of his time at that point of his life. He felt a peak of self-pity at that memory, not one of his best that's for sure. He shot a curious look to his little guide and she only motioned to him to go further away in the alley. After a moment of hesitation, he did so, and then, sprawled a heap against the foul ground, was his younger self. Starscrem frowned in disgust at himself at that pitiful sight.

_How far the mighty can fall…_He thought at that moment, but a sound caught his attention, and he looked at the other end of the alley, to see a couple of mech coming in it. They weren't that tall, but they had what seems like wings attached to their shoulders, nd they were talking and laughing quite loudly. Too loudly for that part of the city, and they were about to attract attention on themselves very quickly if they didn't shut up… He recognizes them instantly. Of course… Who else could it have been… They were obviously seekers, and the only seekers that could fit the description of those two were his wingmates. And, after all, they were the ones to help him crawl out of his misery after that shameful episode…

"Hey, 'Warp, I think I heard something!" Exclaimed one of the mech as he stopped in his track.

"C'mon, bro', your audios must been glitches… I heard notin'" Replied the second one whit a annoyed snort.

"No, no, I swear I heard something! That way!" The first one said back before heading strait to the heap of a seeker in the corner of the alley, sprawled on the ground. He bent down and recoil in surprise when the unmoving form grunted painfully. "Hey, it's a Seeker, and I think he's a little trashed!"

"Look more likes a trash heap to me…" Said the second seeker whit a disgusted snort. "Come on, the guy can take care of himself, TC! We're late, and the Boss won't lake it. You know how he could when he's fragged…"

"Megatron's always looking for new Seekers, and that one seems good enough. Well, after we patch 'im up, that's for sure!"

"Not so loud, you moron!"

At that moment, they were interrupted by a grunt coming from the heap of a Seeker, as he tried to ask something.

"We' am' I? Wha' happen'?"

What a pitiful display, the older Starscream thought at that moment. Looking at his younger self in such a disgusting situation, crawling on the ground like some worthless ground-kisser, gave him the shivers. But, because of some twisted fascination, he couldn't make himself to look somewhere else. Was it some sort of self-punishment on his part? Ho9nestly, Starscream doesn't know he had it in him… Anyway, he listened to the rest of the conversation, because he didn't remember a thing of that particular night, even If, afterward, TC and 'Warp had told him what had occurred there.

"Hey, he's coming around! Buddy, are you alright?" Asked the bleu Seeker, kneeling beside the now moving form of the young Starscream.

Confused optics looked at the two forms towering him and blinked a couple of time to focus on what he was seeing. A hand was offered to him to help him stand, but obviously, he wasn't in any shape to do so. He just sat up against to wall, looking fragged up and in pain, and let out a pitiful whimper as he grabbed his head in both hands.

"Who… you?" He tried again, his vocaliser trying to reboot itself.

"I'm Thundercracker, and behind his Skywarp, my younger brother. What's your name, mech? Do you want some help to go back home? If you feel only half as bad as you look, you must be in the Pit right now…"

"C'mon, TC, we don't have time to help all the Empties we see in the streets! We're already late! We'll be fragged if we don't go to the meeting, you know that." Cut the younger brother, Skywarp, at that moment, sounding impatient and a little nervous, almost afraid.

"Calm your circuits, 'Warp. I'm not going to let a fellow seeker rot in the gutter like that. I'll talk to Megatron later, don't you worry. I konow how to handle him. Now help me bring him up so we could take somewhere safe."

He shot dagger to his unwilling brother until he sight and came aroud to kneel on the other side of the red and white seeker and take his other arm. Togheter, they helped him up to his feet, and slowly made their way in the street, back to the two seeker's place. Has they helped him up; a question came out the confused and pained seeker vocaliser.

"Who's Megatron…? 'm sure I know tha' name…"

"Later, buddy. Right now, you need a good, long recharge. We'll help ya, don't you worry." Was the cheerful answer from the light bleu seeker on his right side.

The scenes fades into nothingness and Starscream looked at his little guide, perched on his shoulder. She has been uncharacteristically quiet for some time, now, and he wondered what she had in store for him, now. But, if the course of event she was showing him were to follow a logic pattern, he can make a fair guess. After the two seekers took him off the gutter, they had taken him tom their place. It was there than Starscream had begun to heal up the still open wounds of the loss of his previous lover, and Skyfire's memory had slowly became less painful. Until he became more than friend whit those two troublemakers, after some time...

But it wasn't what had helped him the most at that time, even if it had taken a good part in the rebuilt of his life, and is very sanity. But, if he had to be honest whit himself, he would say that his sanity was never the same from that moment. Everybody knows that Starscream had a couple of bolts loose in the cranial unit. It didn't bother him anymore, and he couldn't care less.

No, what had truly made him regain control on his life and had given him a new purpose in life was Megatron.

_Interlude 5: In the mist_

"You're really a case, you know that? I don't know if you could be saved, but I have a job to do, and I'm determined to do it wathever the odds… or the stubboness of the "lost spark" I'm assigned to help." Said the little human girl who was currently sitting in the palm of my right hand.

We are yet again floating in that weird place made of fog – honestly, Starscream couldn't stand that creepy place anymore and he had to fight to prevent himself to do anything stupid like trying to blast the place to oblivion – and his little guide had apparently started, at last, to loose patience whit him. Really, he was a lost cause, and she was starting to think that, whatever she decided to show him, he would simply return to his former self has soon has he returned to Earth. She sighed in defeat, but she couldn't simply let go and didn't try one last time. The little spirit had a last card up her sleeve.

"I didn't ask to be "saved" in the first place, fleshling! I don't need nor want to be "saved", I'm perfectly well the way I am, thank you very much! Why don't you just take me back were you found me and we can just forget anything about that entire crazy thing?" Retorted the red and white jet in a deeply annoyed and angry voice.

The only thing that entire ordeal had successes to made was lead him into a very, VERY foul mood, and he wanted out. And the sooner, the better… But in a way, she had manage to get to his spark, whit those scene she played him about Skyfire. He had spent millennium trying to forget everything about his deceased lover, and there she his, throwing it right in his face to look at him weeping in misery! It had been so incredibly painful, but then, he didn't felt "changed in any way after that, any deeply hurt, and very angry to be forced to relive the worst moments of his entire life.

"You're so incredibly thick headed, it's unbelievable! All of the souls – or spark in your case – I had to guide through salvation would have already broke in helpless tears of misery now, but you… It seems that nothing can pass through the thick armour you had built around your spark. And I don't think that's anything else I can do for you."

"At last! You see my point! If you had seen it before, all that craziness could just had been avoided…" Interrupted the Seeker, relieved beyond words.

"I AM NOT FINISHED!" Scowled the little human whit a voice loud enough to make the mighty Starscream jump in surprise, almost dropping her. "Listen to me, we have yet another little stop to make before I released you from your journey. Even if I think you are beyond salvation doesn't think that the one for whom I work share my opinion. So, I just have to take you for a last trip before releasing you. And then, we will part away. Not a second before! Understood?"

"Yes, yes, don't be such a pain, little human! Just… Take me wherever you had to take me and be done whit it so we could be rid of each other presence."

Without answering him, the little girl took him away from the fog dimension, and the world around them started to whirl madly as ever when they had travel between time and space, making Starscream almost sick.

_Megatron_

The scene that appeared before was all too familiar to him. He recognizes the place immediately for it has been the very first Decepticon headquarter on Cybertron from the very beginning of the war. And the particular room was the homemade "Throne room" of the Mighty Megatron, you was currently sitting in his large chair in the center of the room. At that time, he didn't really have a throne, but only a large bunk shaping vaguely like a throne. And there he was, the large, imposing silver figure wearing in his chest the infamous Decepticon insignia, radiating power and authority all over the place. Starcream couldn't deny the fact that the mach had a lot of presenc, and a strong charisma, who managed to coax many, many weak-willed spark into his army.

Lord Megatron, Leader of the Decepticons.

Starscream saw the door on the far side of the room fly open and three winged figure walking inside whit the aerial grace that characterize all the Seekers. As he looked at the expression of pride and honour of hisyounger self, he felt that old, very old feeling worm his way in his spark. Whit anger, he squash it to pieces and only watched at the scene before him took place.

"Have you found me a flier, Soudwave?" Asked the deep, raspy voice of the leader to the deep bleu mech who had walked to his side.

"No." Was the stern, emotionless answer from the telepath, and a dangerous look wander his way from the large silver gladiator sitting in the, makeshift throne, so he added quickly, motioning to the open door. "I found you three."

At that, the imposing warlord turned slightly in his chair to look at the three figures waiting a couple of meters ahead of the sitting form of the leader. The older Starscream had to fight the urge to laugh at the sight of excited nervousness and expectation adorning his younger self face at that very moment. What a fool he had been at the time… he had really respected the mech for a time at the beginning of the war, because he had believed in his capacity to fulfill the greatness of his goals of freedom and liberty for all the mechs and femmes of Cybertron. It had been a cause worthy of following. But really, the exact cause of the devotion of Starscream toward his leader had been much deeper than that. His own voice cut in from his stream of thought. He saw himself kneeling in front of the silver giant and clenches his dental plating at that. What a humiliating display…

"I… I offer my total and undying loyalty, Mighty Megatron!" Said the young flier in a nervous, trembling voice.

Starscream knew that, at that time, he had been greatly impressed by the large silver warlord, and even afraid of him in a way. He was, after all, perfectly capable of snapping his neck whit one hand, but that wasn't the only reason. In a twisted way, he had been a substitute for his lost lover, and he had saw in him the fair replacement he had been looking for since the day he had returned from the planet where Skyfire had perished. It was wrong and twisted, and soon, he had realised his mistake and became the treacherous Second in Command everybody knows and love. (XD)

He little smile crept on the lips components of the Decepticon leader after that and he slowly gat up and walked toward the three fliers, to stop in front of the still kneeling Starscream, putting a hand on his shoulder, making the young mech tensing a little.

"Good. I have great things in store for you… For all of you! Get up, soldier." Said the silver giant as he took a step backward to let his knew recruit rise to a standing position. "Come."

He turned back and walked to the opposite side of the room, where another door was, and the younger Starscream followed him whit a almost cheerful anticipation. The two other Seekers stayed in the room and Starscream shot them a nervous glare, which was answered by a pair of smiles and encouraging gesture. Skywarp even gave him a thumb up and a wink. The two disappeared and the door closed behind them.

Honestly, it wasn't even necessary to him to see what had occurred next, because he knew it quite well, and it shamed him greatly, to rethink about it. At first, magatron had only told him how useful his services would be to his cause and how valuable to him – and the Decepticon cause of course - he considered the Seeker. Has they appeared into another room, the personal quarters of the leader, Starscream felt the urge the jump and grab himself by the shoulder and shake until he was able to prevent himself to made one of the greatest mistake of his life. He saw that Megatron was currently an inch from his body and had taken his chin between a thumb and index finger, making the younger Starscream looked him in the optics. A disturbing lustful look was clearly visible in the tyrant optics has he let his stare slide down the frame of his newest recruit.

"I have great projects in store for you, Starscream…" Purred the silver giant strait in his audios, and the older Starscream saw his young self shudder at that, his cheeks a little redder than normal. "Tell me, what are you willing to do to please your leader, youngling?"

Another purr, and the young flier was almost shaking, now. The older Starscream wanted to tear his younger self from the grasp of the evil, twisted mech who was taking advantage of his weakened state of mind. The loss of Skyfire, at that moment, was all too fresh in his park and memory chips, and he had been ready to be manipulated by the first mech to show a little concern, a little respect, a little… love…

"Anything, my Lord..." Whispered the young tetrajet as he stared in the older mech optics whit what seems to be heated anticipation.

"Anything?... Really, my little Seeker?..." Replied the older mech, letting a hand trail down a wing, making it jerk and tremble, and earning him a little moan of pleasure.

"Y-yes…" Answered the shuddering flier, and another moan was heard from his vocal processor as a gentle kiss landing ho so lightly on his exposed throat.

After that, the poor jet wasn't even able to process anything anymore. It had taken some times but, in all way, Megatron had managed to twist him around his little finger… for a time. He had been, he still was, the leader lover. He knew that the silver tyrant had lusted for him since the very moment he had laid his optics on the slender, handsome form of the little flier. Starscream had thought he had loved Megatron, and naïvely, had thought that the mech had loved him back… Until he had discovered that he had only been used. After that, he had become bitter and had tried to kill the slagger, time and time again, to no avail.

"I have seen enough." Stated the older Starscream, and he took his optics off that disturbing scene. "Take me out of here."

"As you wish…" Replied the little human girl sitting on his palm, whit a shrug. "Anyway, it's only going to become too intimate in there."

_Back to normal_

The scene faded to nothingness and the two of them were soon back in the snowy field from where they had departed… How long before? A minute? An hour, a day? The red seeker couldn't tell, he had completely lost all notion of time during that ho so interesting journey. He felt the snow crack and squeak beneath his feet and he was greatly relieved to felt the cold winter night yet again on his faceplates. He was very happy to be back on hearth and the familiar and comfy little war that was taken place here.

"What now? Are you going to lecture me again, human? Because it's not gonna work and you know that…" Told the mech, shooting a glare to the fleshling still sitting in his palm.

"I'll let you in peace. I know I had failed in my mission, and it's pointless to try to reason wit you anyway. Your armour is way too thick to pierce. I've tried all the things I could and, yet, you're still the same old egotistical afthead that I had to try to convince "save". Shrug the girl dismissively. "All I ask you is to; at least, wait until the end of the holidays to rage war again. Can you do it, Starscream? In honour of the season?"

At that, Starscream stayed still for a moment, and then… Laugh his head out! What a joke! Who did she think he is? Some soft-sparked human fleshy, or worst, a weak Atobot? He may be an afthead, and he may had made some very bad things in his life, and not always for the greater good, but he is still SIC and Air Commander of the Decepticon army! Or, to be accurate, he was a couple of days ago, before Megatron decided to dump and exile him again…

"I couldn't care less about your human festivity, fleshling. But for know, my business aren't whit your kind, but whit that Pit Spawned slagger, megatron, so… I think I could leave you useless human alone… For now."

"I suppose it'll have to do…" Whispered the strange little blonde, blue-eyed human girl in red and white coat and boots. "Farewell, Starscream. I hope, somewhere, you had found a little bit of peace through this journey. May your Spark find his true place someday, decepticon! Live can be full of surprises!"

And she was gone, just like that. Starscream stayed there, unmoving, for a long time, lost in his thought. He had indeed been affected by all that crazy ordeal, but he couldn't see how just yet. He will have to rethink it deeply before even coming around whit an answer. He wasn't the thoughtful type, and all that thing had let him whit the mother of all CPU aches.

Without another look back, the red and white jet flew away an, soon, the field was silwnt and empty again, only bathed by the moonlight far above.

**-END-**

But there will be an epilogue, so stay tuned! And don't forget to review!


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